Tallying my thoughts

 

I pretend I am a nurturer

I whisper into the air

My endearments of love

And, thus my gloom, I forswear

 

I wear a cloak of sainthood

Where nothing fazes me

As I march on alleviating

The distresses of humanity

 

And, yet the once I pause

Assessing my balance sheet

The moment I seek a miracle

The universe has me beat.

Exceptional, exclusive and extraordinary - the day

Birthdays are special,

A personal commemoration,

of self worth, a reflection.

As you revel in elation.

Age, a number, is cliche.

Count the moments,

that blow you away,

of happiness these are potent.

The more, the merrier

yet another platitude,

the truth nonetheless,

to embrace in gratitude.

You are the most special,

not just today, every day,

to all around you, who hover

you remain, our mainstay.

Happy Birthday!

Living with a shrewish one

Singed by constant hurts

my heart refuses hope

with a smoke that envelopes

every spark, I can't cope.

A touch, a lift - of spirits

that is all I sought

Instead, I faced empty threats

dished out in onslaught.

A breath of air, to clear,

my frothy turbulent mind,

remains a pipe dream, like 

building cottages in air, I find.

Life that's vested

Conditional, if this

then! only suits

lines of code to

create apps.

In life, reality 

is a simple how

'if things work well,

I shall remain bow'

everyone is measured 

in a balance of ifs

where all that's needed

is checks in the lists.

Centered around self

the universe shall revolve

that's the expectation 

in which they devolve. 

Confined in Caution

The silence is deafening 

I step into the building alone 

My desk of decade and a half 

stands watch over the agone. 

With a heavy heart, I pose 

click a selfie for posterity 

Pushing the button, for a hard reset. 

I stand still to ingest the severity. 

I repeat certain words often, 

‘eerie’ and ‘unreal’ mostly. 

Everyone agrees with me, 

while the world feels ghostly.

 

The things once the norm, 

seem unattainable at best. 

The mindless living on, 

something I have begun to detest. 

As I peer out of the window 

streets lined with parked cars. 

No one has anywhere to go. 

The world is indeed on a pause.

Mired in contradictions

Blessed to be alive,

cursed to despair,

Fortunate with fortunes

But, the heart lays bare.

Surrounded by many

Amidst them all alone, 

enveloped in affection 

But, unconditional love, none.

Plentiful are necessities, 

Provided for in abundance,

living close to perfection, 

But, hollow without substance

Trying conditions persist.

Days are long and fleeting

Struggling to stay in pace, 

But the mind takes a beating

Gazing at the twinkling stars

I walk the road, across

from my door. I look up

at the vastness of skies.

Inconsequential, I letup.

In the shadow of my eyes,

swirled in perpetual grief,

the twinkling stars don't

provide an inkling of relief.

gazing at stars, gushed at

romanticized in emotions

When the heart is in despair

hardly a healing potion. 

Into the abyss I stare

Prayers, miracles, luck

chances and luck of the draws,

Guarantees are non existent,

Talks remain about last straw.

How did I not know?

How was I so naive?

To believe in another

Letting my heart grieve.