Days, some more special

 

Age is just a number,

Where did time fly?

Like yesterday, I remember

Cliched one liners to live by

 

Special days are birthdays

They mark your origin

Everything aligned in ways

To create you, beautiful being.

Fie upon you...

 

Your cursed life

Shall be your cross

The spawn you created

Your constant albatross

 

While you create chaos

In all others’ lives

Smugly you seek

Peace, along with jives

 

That goes a bit much

Karma shall persist

So you sow, shall you reap

With destiny, its your tryst.

Future... bleak

 

Legacy, a loosely thrown word

That encompasses all drives

It is what the future holds

And, what the past gives

 

Humans seek posterity,

Recognition of them and theirs

A constant struggle ensues

While they strive to earn their airs

 

Handing down the baton,

Changing of the guard

Life is too short, to  be

In this way scarred.

Insecure, destined

 

I wish upon the dandelion

For small wishes and large

Blowing it away in the horizon

Upon my sorrows, I sparge

 

I luck upon a found penny

For days of future to be with joys

Rubbing it some more for luck

While holding my poise

 

I chance upon a clover

My life shall turn for better

The four leaf one is special

Only seen by the go-getter.

 

These are but some trinkets

To hold on to life’s ways

While life gets very hard,

Miracles never cease to amaze.

Shhh...

 

The quiet

I like it better

The silence

is comforting

 

The noise is

disconcerting

there’s an unrest

in the sound

 

A word of still,

Quietude and calm

Tranquility transcends

The chaos of earth

Free... free .... free bird

 

You don’t say

But I hear

You are far away

But I feel

 

Even what you think

I know

And, anything you feel

I sense

 

Empathetic and sensitive

My soul is very deep

I have sorrows in me

That don’t let me sleep

 

Someday, I shall be free…

 

Dementor's dues

 

You cannot light your own

So, you try to douse and control

The flame of life I carry

Within me, in my soul

 

You can’t raise a glass

To the happy life you desire

So, you snub my peace,

With your constant despair

 

You are toxic without joy

You can’t let your guard

So, you ruin everyone around

All life are marred.

 

Vivid blues

 

My heart used to be

Vast like the sky

Always sunny and blue

Orange in hue at sunrise

With a reddish tinge later

You could look up

And get lost in the

Vastness of expanse.

There are gray days

Cloudy and dark

They pass and clear

With bright and white

The blues are happy

Not the sad ones

 

 

Now, my heart is the

night sky, without

an iota of light

Black and pitch black

Bereft of joy.

Dreams ....

 

My dreams shall one day

Come true for me

My hard work shall payoff

The day will come, you see.

 

There’s justice in the world.

Balance in the universe

If there’s even a bit of right

My suffering shall be terse

 

Pensive penning

 

My pen is tired

Worn out, fatigued

The body and soul

Flustered, lightheaded

 

The words are short

While writing about pain

There is no end to it

The unending wolfsbane

 

Destined to rot away

In constant disarray

While there is no respite

And, constantly in fray.

 

Writing is my solace

My comfortable space

The world within my brain

While my suffering is effaced.

I miss me

 

I miss the girl I used to be

The mind was full of happy

A burden rests upon me now

One which I cannot disavow.

 

I believed in life and hope

I had ways and means to cope

There was no fear or anxiety

And, days were in gaiety

 

Forever now in constant battle

Handling the nonstop tattle

Isolated by one and all

The evil one has me in thrall

Lost

She is so lost

And its bad now

She cant recollect

The days of her life

 

All she had was

For the taking now

She stands small

Tears piercing like a knife

 

The far end of the land,

Where the stream flows

She still hold on to peace

While her insides burn in strife 

Alive

There’s a light

That made me

Alive

The spirit of my soul

It is not from my eyes

Nor from my smile

 

It is from the way

I rise up from all the terror

And the evil

That exists around me

 

It is from my strength

to shine with a hope,

no matter what.

"Baby, I am worth it" - so goes the song

I am worth it

I have a big heart

I have it in me, for a reason

I stand out from the rest.

 

I endure more than

Seems possible

I am clothes in bravery

And, balmed in strength.

 

My heart has been

Ripped apart, many times

More than imaginable,

And beyond recognition.

 

I have been left alone

By those I needed

I am awake, arising

To tall another day.

 

I survive, that’s what I do best

I am a survivor.

More of you

Don’t do unto them

What they did you

The world has enough
Of them, few of you. 

Chunks of time

 In the passage of time,

Yesterday took a chunk,

It bit into my mind

And, choked my leftover spunk

 

Today, when it came,

I was knocked down hard,

The expectations betrayed me.,

And, the days were marred.

 

Tomorrow is too far away,

Imperceptible for the battle weary

The time though waits for none,

No matter how much bleary.

Heavy

I sit down and ponder,

On my past.

I made a list in mind

Of moments lost.

 

The regrets pile up a lot

Drowning me

In an ocean of my shed tears.

I can’t see

 

A heavy baggage I carry

All through

I hold up well, being strong

Peace, I eschew.

 

 

Before me, within me

As I wept in the secrecy of darkness,
In my private sanctuary
I felt cocooned
In the warm embrace

Of women of past.

The ones that passed,

Their legacies

Their values

They instilled in me

Carried within and

Held close

To a sunflower

You stand tall, facing the sun

A strong gust however

Knocks you down hard

 

 

You don’t care, in your glory.

Where people come in droves

To admire your beauty

 

You aren’t held accountable

You have no responsibility

You just have your pride

 

The golden glow of the sun

With the dark center

You are unique, a gift

 

Nature’s creations are many,

But none like your grace

Forever, you bring joy!

The whoosh of life

Goals, there are several,

They stay mostly as dreams

Mostly, without even,

Seeing the light of day

 

Deadlines, come and go

While silent screams

Of frustration and anxiety

Are the norm of the day

 

Changes why can’t fate?

With success in extremes,

For once, cant life be good?

And, in joy, I begin to sway.

In death, wept.

“Do not weep at my death”

I will not say

I want to know I left

An impression

On at least one… but did I?

 

There shall be no grave,

No tombstone that says

“she was nice”

There will remain

Memories within.

 

Alone, unknown and

Unseen, I’ll fade

Not a difference, it’ll make

Life will go on,

The world will move on.

 

Forgotten…. No!

I want someone to

Weep at my death

Maybe a few?

Who are you?

 Sneaky and snarky,

You think highly of you

Picky and particular

You are a pain to all

 

You believe you are right

And, never at fault.

The world shall revolve

around you, you tiny being

 

You enforce your views,

No one else has a say

To what avail are others

Only you matter anyway.

Banal, but

I made a list of names,

My favorites,

Of girls

For my future twins.

 

I was fifteen then,

I dreamt of mothering,

Of milestones and of memories

 

I dreamed a life,

Calm, normal

Low key

 

 

I didn’t set to make waves

To break norms

I wanted to be ordinary

 

I ended up in a rut,

Of never ending misery.

Baring my heart to none,

Now, to the world.

Noon

The golden ball of fire,

Shines atop in fury

The sky blows in ecstasy,

Browning  the earth’s verdure.

 

The forests are flooded

With bright sparks of light

The trees chase their shadows

And, await the fiery plight

 

Then, time passes slowly,

Sunset mellows the heat

Hiding behind the horizon,

Only, to next day, repeat.

 

Penance

A pilgrimage I embark

To absolve my past sins,

Oblivious to the world’s remarks,

I bear a burden, to the cross akin

 

A choice that I’m making

The accusation was thrown,

My life I am forsaking,

But transgressions I have to atone.

 

A pathetic life I lead,

There is not a moment of respite,

To others’ fuel I feed.

While mine, I deplete

 

What a twist of fate it is,

Is it the curse of destiny

The fear is my disease

Is it my unfortunate legatee?

Penny wise Pound foolish

 

The dark skies belie

The joy that is within

The selfish satisfaction

Of an unexpected win.

 

While another wonders,

Of the elusive lady luck,

A hesitant smile persists

Displaying high puck

 

The many moods of all

From apathy to distress

An elephant is in the room

That everyone refuses to address

 

Politeness prevents conflict

Silence holds the anger

Nothing of worth is touched upon

While there is useless banter.

Prayers, so pure

I read a line in the passing,

“no utters word is ours”

A prayer is a word sent upward.

While blessing, we scour.

 

We lift our hands In prayer,

The eyes well with tears,

To the powers resting there,

We open our fears.

 

Forever, we feel the need,

The constancy of reassurance.

In vulnerability, we plead.

To bless us with endurance.

Me, mine and myself

 

I pity those who envy me

For there’s not an ounce of joy.

Left in my lifeless soul,

The world has done me foul.

I smile within at their scowl

There is no battle I set to win

 

The music of life, routine

Breathing in my heart.

The loneliness without frills

Beauty in its entirety spills,

Of the chaos, I take a swill,

What’s the calm without unrest?

Life's dreams... stifled

I am doing nothing with my life

An immigrant, wanting to

Get lost in the crowd.

A novice at everything,

The opportunity of trial .

 

A willingness to be bad,

At everything

Mediocrity, is my motto.

 

The American Dream, I am

Not seeking.

 

I find myself horrified

Of the future

Of the woman I have become

The future,

The shortage of time

Monotony

Smothered   

My plants, mine for a while

A goes well, when I

Walk amidst them

I caress a small leaf,

Hoping it blossoms.

 

I eagerly await the roots,

Time is fleeting.

But just one more, I go

 

Plants are mine,

I can let them

They rarely complain

Leaves, flowers and stems

They ask for nothing

 

A little tender, loving care

And, in return, they give joy

I don’t talk to them,

But I feel they hear me

They know me, they do.